So here’s a little something I wrote to celebrate the spirit of the season. Let me know what you think! And Enjoy! (I realize that the spacing is kinda off…my computer’s been actin weird…)
My story begins on a cold Christmas Eve,
At a bus stop in Houston with an old guy named Steve.
I was on my way home from a long day of shopping,
And the only one there was the janitor, who was mopping.
I was sitting there quietly, reading my book sipping tea,
When that grizzled old bear shuffled up next to me.
He was balding and awkward and smelled of too much old spice,
And he scratched at his head as though he had lice.
I looked up from my book and there he was staring,
And in a low voice he said, “I like what you’re wearing.”
His breathing grew louder and he was stroking his chest,
Then he licked his lips and said, “Mama knows best.”
And just as I thought this couldn’t get anymore wrong,
The man began singing a childish name song.
“Steve, Steve Bo Beve,” He whispered to me with a smile,
And he continued his song in a monotone style.
I don’t really know why I sat there so long,
But the bus pulled up outside at the end of his song.
And I wasted no time getting away from that man,
Sprinting to the bus like the Gingerbread Man.
I jumped in the bus and I paid for my Fare.
It was seventeen-fifty, but I didn’t care.
And as the bus drove off I thought this strange night was done,
But little did I know it had all just begun.
When I arrived at my home, the door was unlocked.
I didn’t think much of it, I must have forgot.
So I put down my groceries and I fed my dog Spot,
And I went up to bed after downing a shot.
And later that night there arose such a clatter,
So I sprang from my slumber to see what was the matter,
Spot also jumped down from the foot of my bed,
His little fangs barred, his ears flat on his head.
I crept down the staircase to see what I would find,
With little dog spot following close behind.
The downstairs was dark, as dark as could be,
Except for the glow of my small Christmas tree.
We reached the bottom of the stairs with a creek,
And little dog spot ran upstairs with a squeak.
So now it was just me, with my courage of ice,
Which then quickly melted, when I smelled the Old Spice.
“Run, run. As fast as you can.”
Came the low whisper of the janitor man.
And I turned ‘round behind me and there he was standing,
On the stairs right behind me, up on the landing.
My face contorted in horror as I looked up to see,
His near naked body lit up by the tree.
He was ever so hairy, some strands three inches long,
And to my utmost disgust, he was wearing a thong.
“I’m quite sorry I woke you,” The man said with a grin.
Then he lifted his arms and jiggled his loose skin.
“The chase was long, but I found you, my friend.”
And after this statement he began to descend.
His eyes were alive in the pale glowing light,
And I questioned the point of his terrible plight.
“Why are you here? Why do you do this to me.”
But all that he said was “Just wait and see.”
Before I knew what was what we stood face to face,
And from his thong he withdrew a bottle of mace.
He sprayed me in the eyes and I began to fall,
And I ended up smacking my head on the wall.
From the darkness his voice came “Wake up, Sleepy head.”
And I woke with a start lying flat on my bed.
He shined a light in my eyes, it felt like the sun.
“Just lie back and relax, the fun has all just begun.”
Also, just FYI, it’s already copyrighted. Wouldn’t think I’d have to say so, but you know what people are like these days…
I think it is perverted and sick. Sorry this isn’t a Christmas story…resembles something from a sex magazine or something.
CREEPY!!!
OMG MERLIN!!!
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